As I said, two things.
#1, let's go with the weekend.
We know I started off the weekend badly. The rest of it, though, made up for it.
The game yesterday was FANTASTIC. Not going to lie, we weren't playing well for at least the first quarter, but we ended up beating SFA 48-7. AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
I took a ton of photos. And (under supervision, parents, so don't worry) a few of the fish camp people took my camera, so I actually have some photos of myself for once. Got some really great shots, by the way, I was happy. But I want my video camera! I'm completely out of film. It's crazy annoying. I'm so used to walking around with it in my hand, I don't know what to do with myself. For those of you who don't know me all that well, I'm a crazy video stalker--I constantly run around with a camera and camcorder, so its always strange for me to be without. I make videos out of the footage I collect, too; set it to music with a storyline. I started a documentary a few years ago, I do still want to finish that...obviously just for private use, but still.
I enjoyed talking to everyone around me, for sure. Even standing for the entire game wasn't too bad, although I was definitely glad I wore comfortable shoes!
Speaking of the game...how do I even begin? Well, we won, like I said. Meaning more the atmosphere, though...81,000 people showed up, most of them Aggies. This was a HORDE of screaming people. Claustrophobic, and yet fun, almost like a concert pit or something similar. Since this was the first football game, period, I'd been to in probably 10 years, it was definitely a crazy experience. I loved it, and I'm definitely going to as many as I possibly can.
Anything else about my first A&M football game since I was, what, 6? I don't think so. I doubt I could even find enough to say about a play by play. If you saw the game, you had pretty much the same experience I did, sans crowd fever.
So, on to today. Slept late. Certainly needed it! And then today, around 2, I met up with my DG counselors to go and check out the open house. Way too many people, but I picked up some lovely flyers for the Book Club, Cinema, Rock Climbing, etc. We parted after about an hour, I headed back here and crashed. I was going to go to the Freudian Slip show, but I slept through it. I actually am only awake now because one of my friends woke me up texting and I can't get back to sleep now. I'm going to try again in a minute.
First, though, I have something to say.
This is #2:
I am so tired of letting friends pass out of my life. I look back at old pictures, of the good times we had, and I wonder why the hell I ever let it go. I have so many friends I haven't talked to in ages. Why not? I don't really know. Probably the same reason they haven't contacted me. Shit happens. Life happens. Things just get in the way, and it gets less and less important as time goes on.
And yet, what could possibly be more important?
A grudge, maybe. A fight. Time, distance, events that couldn't be helped. The things we do to another, and the scars we bear because of it.
I'm starting to wonder if we bear those scars by choice. Why not try and heal them? Sure, you might reopen old wounds. It can't possibly hurt as much as it did the first time. It's a gamble, but, I think, one worth taking. Otherwise, you might let someone slip out of your life forever who could be the most important person you'll ever know.
Fights, I think, are the only legitimate reason to let someone go, at least for a little while. In this day and age, time and distance are arbitrary. You might drive 10 hours to meet family, and yet not take the 2 seconds it takes to send an email or a message. Facebook makes staying in touch so easy, and yet people don't take advantage of it. It takes 2 seconds to send a message to a friend, just saying hi. Or maybe 5 minutes to send a long one, a personal message. It's so stupid to let friendships die because we can't spare a few minutes.
The real problem is that we take friendship for granted. We have our high school friends, our college friends, our friends from this group, our friends from childhood. Whatever it is, we label it and compartmentalize it and never think about the fact that really, we just have friends. We may have met them in a specific place or time, but in the bigger picture, they are just our friends.
Or, maybe not. Maybe we call them "friends", but we really don't care about them all that much. Maybe we add them to boost our sense of self, and don't really think about the meaning of the word "friend".
The point isn't a facebook rant, though. The point is that we let friendships die for no other reason than we don't want to take time--not even that we don't have it, but that we don't take it. Those five minutes we spent randomly surfing the web could have been spent sending a long message to a friend.
I've got a mission, then. Start getting back in touch with people. In some way, they are important to me, because they always have been. Almost no fight, no bad time can refute the good, I think, unless you let it; and if there was no fight, there's no reason to let it go.
Signing off, this is Kat, wondering about the people in her life, and determined to keep them there.
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