Nobody said it would be this hard. (i.e., Rotten Day (No, it didn't get better.))

So, with all the pain of this morning, I took a mental health day and skipped my first two classes. Went back to my dorm and slept for several hours, trying to catch up on the sleep I lost last night. At about 3:45 I woke up and ran to my last class, the only one I think I really need to be in class for all the time. Literally as I walk into the building I get a text from my friend in that class, asking if I'm coming today. Lightened my mood considerably to know someone was looking for me. This guy was easily the bright spot in my day today. He's awfully funny, and it's just fun to be around him. I came out of class feeling a lot better, hopeful for the rest of the day to go better than the morning had.

Thanks for playing games with me, gremlins. It's nice to know that you can disappear for a while and make me hopeful about the rest of the day, only to come back and wreak havoc on my life.

I come back to my dorm, walk upstairs, drop my stuff off, fix myself food...and the freaking fire alarm starts ringing. And, DAMN, is that thing LOUD! My head started pounding, my roommate woke up...it's a fire drill. F.M.L. So I pull on my shoes again, and my roommate and I head downstairs. Because the drill lasts so long, we decide to go to the Underground, where I burn my mouth on crazy hot soup.

So we come back to the dorm. I mess around for a little while, check out my schedule for next week and for tomorrow. I have 3 tests next week, by the way. Then, I check my email. Two depressing emails. One is from a lady at Levitt pavilion. I had emailed Levitt a few days ago because the cast of Tightrope had informed me that they wanted to keep going, so I was going to try and find a place for us to do that. This letter says that they can't help us, but they'd love to know what ends up happening. Thanks. She does, at least, give me some other places to look at. She's nice enough, it's just frustrating, especially on a day like today.

Second email is from the tech professor. She's attached a copy of the application, and if I send it to her by 5, she will accept it. It's 9 o'clock at night. She sent it at noon. If I hadn't gone to sleep, I would have easily, easily gotten it in.

I am so disappointed right now. I didn't apply for a FLO, dropped the improv troupe idea, refrained from even looking at a ton of the clubs around...because I was hoping I would be involved in the fall production, and I wanted to put it above anything else. Now, the only I can be involved will probably be to go see it.

Do little gremlins follow me around, arranging it so that I have no luck? Do I have a poltergeist or something? Or do I just naturally have no luck? I swear, with me, nothing ever ends up the way I want it to. I just hope, in this case, that it still ends up well, or I have no idea why I even bother.

Ugh. Can you tell I'm a little disheartened?

I was so excited. After all the worry about the theatre department, it was turning out to be great. I wanted so much to be a part of it. It's so...I don't know. Frustrating. Upsetting. I try so hard to get things right, to be positive, to look at what's good...days like today, it just feels pointless.

i.e., The Scientist. Nobody said it was easy, but nobody said it would be this hard.

Let's go for defiance today. It's been a rotten day. I'm not going to argue that. But I am NOT going to let it ruin my week.

I have a sports pass. I am going to the volleyball game tomorrow, the fish camp dance meeting tomorrow night, Midnight Yell Friday night, and the game Saturday. And if I end up going by myself, well, who gives a shit. I'll still have fun, right?

Right.

Signing off, this is Kat...and if I'm going down, I'm going down swinging.